


bleeding petals.

by your_gay_best_friend



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Carry On Countdown (Simon Snow), Gay, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, POV First Person, POV Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28179999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_gay_best_friend/pseuds/your_gay_best_friend
Summary: Tyrannus Basilton Pitch (who will be called Baz) is madly in love with Simon Snow. But what if Simon Snow doesn't feel that way?**read Carry On before this or you will have no idea what I am talking about lol**This is just a small one-shot that I wrote when I was in class because online school sucks.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Kudos: 10





	bleeding petals.

**Author's Note:**

> reading over this made me realize how much it sucks. anyways i do hope you enjoy (or don't.) be prepared for a major character death, it's literally one of the warnings.  
> rip;)

I’ve been feeling horrible all day. It’s like there’s this lump in my throat and no matter how much blood I drink to try and wash it down, it hasn’t left.   
I know something isn’t right ever since I fell madly in love with Simon Snow.   
I flinch as the pain starts to grow worse. It doesn’t feel like just a lump in my throat anymore, it feels like a sharp… something is stabbing my throat oftentimes. I flinch again and drag my feet into the bathroom. Still having the feeling of my throat being stabbed as it grows larger, it takes me one second to realize what’s happening.   
I shake my head, trying not to believe what’s happening to me.   
Is there a way to fall out of love? Or a spell?   
I start to cough violently which causes Simon in his bed to sit up. He looks around then at me, a concerned look covering his face. He tilts his head as if to ask “what’s wrong?” but there’s no way he would even worry.   
He would probably be happy if I died of hanahaki disease.   
“Why are you coughing so much?” He asks, and I look back at him.   
“Why do you care?”   
He shakes his head and lays back down.   
This is the first time he’s talked to me in weeks.   
I shut the door as fast as possible and lean against it. I start to choke again and swallow vigorously, I have little energy. It hurts terribly. I strip off my clothes quickly and start the water. I frown and make the water colder.   
Standing there in the shower maybe forces something out of me, because a rose petal ends up pushing out from the back of my throat into my closed mouth. I open my mouth and let it fall to the shower floor, along with a small amount of blood. I feel a stem scraping against the side of my throat, which makes me want to throw up. The blood washes down the drain but the petal lies there. I bend over to pick it up when three more pedals escape from my mouth and fall onto the shower floor.   
How am I supposed to fall out of love?   
How am I supposed to get Snow to like me?   
I turn off the water before realizing I didn’t even take a second to wash my hair or body. I shrug and try to force back the flowers and petals from coming. I hear Snow outside of the door. After drying off I quickly slip on my clothes I picked out for today and I swing the bathroom door open. I cough again and cover my mouth.   
I can’t let Snow know I have the hanakahi disease.   
I run back into the bathroom and spit out the blood and petals into the sink. I run the water for a second so it all washes down and I take a deep breath and sigh.   
“Baz,” Simon starts, “is there something wrong?”   
“No,” I respond, without thinking, and saying that makes more petals fill my mouth. I cover it again and run to the bathroom. I spit them out in the sink again.   
“Are you throwing up? Because if you are I don’t want to be around you,” he says.   
Gee, thanks.   
He never wanted to be around me anyway.  
“I’m going down for breakfast,” I say. I quickly leave the room and try to hold back from coughing.   
I’m having trouble breathing.   
I see Penny sitting at her usual table. I sit down next to her. Her eyebrows furrow.   
“What do you want?” She asks.   
“Nothing,” I respond, putting my hand to my mouth as I choke again. “I just needed to ask you if you knew anything about hanahaki disease.”   
“So it’s something. And yes I do. Why?” She frowns, putting her book down and her dark-brown eyes looking directly at me. I spit out some of the petals on an empty plate along with some splatters of blood. Her eyes go wide. “Oh my God. Who is it. You need to tell me and I could help you.”   
“I can’t tell you who it is,” I say. She purses her lips, and then she tilts her head.   
“Why?”   
“It’s du--” I start before choking on a stem, “DUMB!” I say. I don’t even realize I’m yelling until everyone in the room goes quiet. The silence isn’t relaxing when you’re the one who created it.   
“...Okay,” she shrugs. “Why are you talking to me anyways? Did you--” she starts, but then her jaw drops. It hangs open and I look around, making sure no one’s eavesdropping. The silence went back to a normal muffled conversation. “It’s Simon, isn’t it?” I nod my head. She puts her hand to her mouth. I inhale as another stem scrapes against the roof of my mouth. I cough it up. It’s a small stem connected to a white flower. Penny grimaces and I breathe shakily.   
“Is there a spell or something for this?” I ask, and she slowly shakes her head.   
“No. I’m sorry. There’s really not much we can do. But I can’t have you die like this,” she says. I guess I didn’t think about that. If I don’t survive this, what would happen?   
“So what…” I cough up a full rose covered with blood, “can we do?”   
“First we need to make sure he doesn’t see you like this. And you’ll probably just need to wait it out. It’s his choice whether or not he wants to fall in love with you.”   
Hearing her say that makes me gag and this time I cough up four flowers and breathe shakily. Her eyebrows push down indicating she’s thinking. Either that or she’s worried. I look to the doors.   
Simon walks in.   
I cough up at least six flowers with force, and one of them was connected to a stem. The flowers are red, but I can’t tell if they’re roses or they’re stained from blood. Judging on my previous ones though, I think they’re roses. Penny shakes her head in unison with me. Simon eyes me and looks around. He sits down and narrows his eyes at me.   
“Why is he here?” He asks Penny as I cough up more roses. I try to hide it, but I can’t.   
I can feel the flowers growing larger, blocking my air supply.   
“WHAT THE BLOODY HE--” he starts, but Penny shushes him. He quiets himself down. “Sorry. Baz. You have hanahaki?” He asks me, and I slowly nod my head.   
I can almost feel more flowers growing in my lungs, making it harder to breathe.   
“Who is it for?” He asks. “Penny? Agatha?”   
“NO!” I yell. “Please shut up. I can’t deal with this right now.”   
Maybe while he’s caring for me he’ll fall in love.   
Who am I kidding. This sucks. I’m going to die without being able to kiss Snow. I look down at my plate that’s filled with red roses and blood. Penny casts the “Clean as a whistle” spell on it, so all of the flowers and blood disappear leaving a clean plate.   
“Okay,” he frowns, which makes me sad. It’s not like I could just say “hey Simon, please fall in love with me.” Love doesn’t work that way.   
I want to die anyways, so this could totally be over soon. I’ll die anyway~  
Six more roses pour out of my mouth when Penny stands up and holds out her hand. “Come on. We’re getting you the help you need. Simon can come if he wants.”   
“I don’t want to come,” he says, and he looks down. “I don’t want to watch Baz die.”   
That hits hard.   
The flowers don’t grow smaller or come any slower. They don’t stop. They keep coming. I guess he didn’t mean he didn’t want me to die. He probably means he would have rather killed me than have me die with flowers growing from my lungs.   
“What do you mean?” I ask, even though I know exactly what he meant. I cough up six more roses. They’re getting even larger. I sit back down on the chair and put my hand to my head. “Penny. There’s no time.”   
“DON’T SAY THAT!” She yells.   
“I meant I didn’t want to see someone die,” he says simply, and I breathe shakily. The taste of blood and flowers are in my mouth, but it’s not the kind of blood I like.   
It’s my blood, and it kind of sucks. Penny practically drags me out of my chair and we slowly walk out of the room. The last thing I see is Simon staring at me, daggers shooting from his eyes with his arms crossed.   
That’s the last time I see the person I love before I die.   
“Where are we going?” I ask. “I need a trash can.” She picks up a small trash can around the corner and hands it to me. I grab it and spit out some roses. I can feel myself growing weaker.   
“To the hospital. It’s the only place where--”   
“I’M NOT GOING TO THE BLOODY HOSPITAL!” I fume, and her jaw drops. She pushes up her glasses with her pointer finger and relaxes her face.   
“Fine. Then what do you want.”   
“I WANT SNOW! IT’S KILLING ME! LITERALLY!” She gasps and chuckles nervously. I slowly turn around and there he is.   
Standing right there.   
Simon Snow at three o’clock.   
He puts his hand to his mouth and walks up to me. I start vigorously shaking my head but he stops me.   
Then I feel something.   
It’s not like any of the other flowers I’ve been coughing up for the past two hours. It’s worse. The stem scrapes against the side of my throat and I fall on the ground to my knees.   
“Baz, I’m so sorry, I don’t feel that way about you.”   
“I KNOW YOU DON’T! IF YOU DID, I WOULDN’T BE COUGHING UP FLOWERS!” I yell. My mouth opens and I squint. I start to sob, without thinking, and I feel my lungs tense up. I try to breathe but my airway is blocked. Penny rushes towards me.   
That’s when I push out the largest rose from the back of my throat.   
The last thing I remember is Snow putting his hands behind his back. “I’m sorry, Baz.” I look in front of me, blood splatters and red petals on the ground, and my head hits the cold floor.

**Author's Note:**

> omg writing this really made me feel sick. anyways hope you enjoyed! i'm sorry it sucks i'm just 12 and i'm not the best at writing yet. i hope you weren't too mad that baz died. it is in the warning;)  
> please leave some kudos if you enjoyed!


End file.
